"The pain you're feeling now doesn't last for ever. It can't. It hurts too much. You can't live with that much pain-not for ever. Your body can't take it. Your mind can't take it. It knows that if you dont get over it, its going to kill you. And it doesnt want that. So it makes u get over it. Getting over it doesnt mean forgetting it, it doesnt mean betraying your feelings, it just means reducing the pain to a tolerable level, a level that doesnt destroy you."
Lucas, by Kevin Brooks

reachEd home abt an hour ago. im SO sleepy. i think its the weather. i like this kinda weather! but very sian. i dunno why i went home feeling super duper siann. =( boohoo. this shld be a happy day! cuz so slack. haha. i was supposed to go back for just phy tutorial and 1.20 and then go home at 2pm. but the council thing ended slightly earlier, so i had HALF a lesson at 10.40 then breakkkk all the way until 1.20 again. hahaha.


i LOVE PEIQI!!!
she's so nice to me! i feel very loveddd! she's a really romantic giRl and very artisticcc~ i hope she'll love me forever! =D ohs and i love yanyun too! i cant wait to see her in band! today i saw her and i was very happy. =) yay. peiqi says yanyunn's super gdd at decorating letterss even better than peiqi herselfff... oh myss then they must be very gd! im excitedd.. yay now im happy. =)


i wanted to post a few LITTLE sad things... hmmm.


hmmm here's a list of thingss that tend to make pple sadd~
1. the grass is greener on the other side
2. someone living the life you wanna live
3. nice memories from a past too far away
4. feeling inadequate
5. thinking too much
6. regret
7. distance
8. time


that's about all just yett... i think the last two are very importantt.. distance is sad! most of the time. time too. sometimes things just slip away with time. yupp.. my little list i thought abt while lying on my bedd.


oh yesss... i wanna thAnk junyang for the ice creammm thankx for trying to make me happierr.. i think u're a haorenn.. haha.. altho we not so close le but im very touchedd


How do I say goodbye
To what we had
The good times that made us laugh
Outweighed the bad
I thought we'd get to see forever
But forever's gone away
It's so hard to say goodbye
To yesterday


I don't know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where we've been
And what we've been through
If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it's worth all the wait
It's so hard to say goodbye
To yesterday


And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye
To yesterday


And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye
To yesterday


i wish i loved you with all my hearttt

boohoo today i made ann sad. actually i mad her sad last night =( she's blogging right now beside me in the comp lab.
its so warm here! angRy feeling. hahahah. not funnnn.. but the keyboard's nice just that i keep having typos!


anyway i must tell everyone why ann is sad! actually i shldnt. aiyar she's sad she's single! what a sexy girl. harrr... i think nothing to be sad about madammm.. =( u liddat i also very xinkuu boohoo. cuz stupid yuhang! today he came to sch with LYANNA!!!!! i think they very romanticcc... harr lovers in class v romantic. and i think lyanna loves him already! im very happy for themmm!


hmmm. aiyar i dunno what to say.


oh yar i was telling daniel that day that i think i very lousy peasyyy cuz my blog entries now just talking nonsense! like everyday stuff. sad feeling. last time i was a more profound personnn...


anyways junyang got new scandal with elaine! no more the ai mei w yanner. i think he very pei with both of them.. (why not me!?!) but yar... he and elaine like same religion etc.. i thnk they'll be able to connect on many levels...


he and yanner are not bad too. liddat lor... i think not bad la.. looks compatible. as in compatible in terms of looks. and they get along quite well.


hmmm may everyone be happyyyy. i just hope that things tuRn out for the better. =) i always believe that things happen for a reasonnn..


anywaysyss... lesson will start at 1.20 and its 2 mins to 1pm now!~ are u excited? hahah cuz im not.


and i dunno lEh!. i dunno what else to say le. bleah.


i just hope ann wil be happy cuz she's supposed to be a happy girl! and may michelle let me love daniel! and may junyang find his true love. and may yanru be happy. and mayyyyyy everyone be happy! aiyarr... oh yars.. johnice is missing frm my life! i very long nv talk to himm.. and yesss today i gave joel the biRthday letter i was supposed to write foR himm... den its a touching scEne! cuz i purposely give a very ugly letter. hahahah. its hello kitty and got a funny smell. and i wrote w alot of spacing cuz i wanted to write less on more paper.. hahaha the hello kitty paper.


oh yar i shld be called kitty cuz its hello kitty and dear daniel. hahahaha.


aiyar i dunno what else to say . pls sense that im crapping!


im really bored of talking abt this kinda thingsss...


actually i nv really contemplate lately so nothing else to write. i just think im enjoying my life now =) thats all. err.. abt more serious topics...


aiyArrr... dunnox... may the band improve and do well for syf... hmmm. the last band prac we had was yesterday's.. during sectionals before band still okie.. but i sounded quite bad during band.. sad feelingg.. maybe bec we v long nv play liddat liaoss.. or v long nv touch our instRuments... i hope everyone will work harddd! =) at least we will look back w a smile rite.. hahah. we made some major changes to our sectionn.. ihope it'll all be fine. and the sch bought a NEW FLUGELHORN!!! so cool rite. hahaha im gonna use it im gonna use it!... hahahah i feel very xingfu. i hope that it wont end up like our old instrumentss.. cuz its a beauty. i shall name it soon. hahahah.


hmmm. i dunno what else to sayyy! oh nioss this is getting crazyyy im blogging for the sake of it... what a sians peasyy... =( bleahhhhhh k lar i shall stop.


bye!

i went out with yongmin todayyy haha. we walked SO much i was super tiredd. we were just sitting around waiting for my dad. poor yongmin had to take train. but my dad drove her to outram mrt station, which is on the green line at the right sidee of the islandd.. =) yay. we wanted to buy earringss... but didnt find anything nice. i saw some i likedd. but i didnt like them enough to buy them. hahaha. and im broke! im totally broke =( boohoohooo. hahaha. and i'll just DIE when my phone bills come next month! which is soon!


anyways yongmin and i treated each other so it equaled out. which is stupid right?! i was supposed to buy her some earrings. but they were either ex or not nice. im evil. hahah. but she said she didnt really like them that much anyway.


hahaha. and she insisted on buying me something! she chose lip gloss. "fruity jelly" so that i will smell and taste delicious when i kiss my laogong! hahaha but i nearly puked when she said that cuz i think its very erxin!!!! i think its SUPER erxin! =(
in the end she bought me cute underwear from watsons. 3 pairs for $6.90. i think quite cute! hahah each pair $2.30.


ehhh. i dunno what else le! hahahah. ngeepoo TRIED to date me! he never tags on my blog. i know phyllis is pretty, but still! =( im demoralised. hahaha. too bad i was too busy for you! hahahaha. he wanted to go tampines mall to buy stuff... hahaha for kaihong! ooh surpriseeee!!!


here's sth i stole from yongmin's bloggg.. pls read i think its very meaningfull.. yongmin wrote it herself! she's so... wow. hahahaha. contemplative.

You learn to love when you learn that the world is not just about you.
You learn to live when you learn to love.
You learn to be you when you learn that someone out there loves you for you.
You learn to dream when you learn that your life unfolds only when you want it to.
You learn to work hard when you learn that dreams do not come true just through wishing.
You learn to grow up when you learn that life is full of ups and downs, trials and tribulations.


You learn each and every day that you never learn enough.

so nice rite?! hahaha. anyways yesterday was my one month anniversary of being married to daniel bluespecs! yay! hahaha. and i totally forgot! yay! hahaha. okie larrr.. that's all for today. kh ngeepoo pan ann junyang etc etc etc are coming to stayover on saturday night and/or sunday night! =D how exciting! all are welcome! pls tell me by this week! =D yay.

that's all!
im a happy girl!

hahaha phyllis im dedicated an entRy to yoU! pls be touchedd. i dunno if secret x is secret e^x so if secret x is actually secret e^x that means its now secret e^(x+1) ... wows an exponential functionn


anywaysss har im happy for you! woo.. so xingfuuu (so daniel) hahahahahhahaha.


eRmmmm yarr i tHink so lAng manz to haVe a secRet x! my pRincEss hAzel has a sEcret lOve too! and this time shE'll tRy to bElieve that he wont fly awayy because she loves him! fairytales happen in fairytales? oh mys what a confuSing. if a fairytale happens in a fairytale... what does that make the fairytale? hm. if f'(fairytale) happens in f(fairytale), that meanss... we get f(f'(fairytale)).. which means (fairytale) .. HAR so romantic!


hahah. anyways today i was quite disgusted by some pple! im sadddd... as in i was sad for thEm but sometimes its really retribution? or maybe they'll have to learn their lesson.. i think they were quite superficial larr..hmmm.... and i hope i have more depth than her! she's too much of a conformistt,,, in my opinionnn.. but i may be wrong.. just that well... i love pple with an opinion! yeah lorrr.. but no opinions abt her here! =) im a nice giRl! hahahahha... just that well.. may everyone be happy.


yuppp then what now. went out w ann, yuhAngg, mel... then met junyang and bernardd... saw many scandalous couples! im sad! somebody was going out to meet somebody too. aiyosss what a sad feeling. =( hahaha.


may we forget unhappy stuff! may i forget unhappy stuff! one year later im a happier person. i think i changed alot alot alot. i think its a bad thing cuz not constantt... =( but well. i guesss............ many pple enter and exit my lifee... so somehow they'd leave something behindd... maybe that's why i feel that ive been changing so much. as much as i dont like people to change. so well... i hope im changing for the better. =) yay.


wendy! pls rem me and doNt keep loving yr laogong! hahahaha
yongmin! we're having a date tmr! im excitedddd

please ask me why im online!


hahah im trying to put tagboard back cuz its quite sian without the tagboard =( hahah. and im supposed to be mugging for lit! only started today. which is bad news! but i was thinking, since im already prepared to not do well for the rest of the papers, why stress myself out with this one? hahah. its a horrible attitude i know. hahaha.


good luck to all the bio pple and lit pple! =) i'll be seeing yanru tmr! yay. i v long nv see her liaos!


woo there's band this wednesday! =) foR better or for worse! im going to play my tRumpet again! may everyone faint bec of the ugly sound!


actually i wanted to write sth about Princess Hazel! i hope u guys rem her! hahahah. but i lazy... hahahahha... as in its in my diary le.. but i just dont wanna write it here. =S some other time maybe! =)


okiEeee... may the tagboard wORk!

went for the canadian brass concerttt.. it was v nice! =) had alot of entertainment value and pure talent too. that's the beauty of it i guess. =)


saw alot of nycbians! and njcband pple...haix im quite woRried abt syf. hope by then we'd all be of a certain standard. no lit student's supposed to talk like this! there's no "certain". im sure we all know that la. haha.


anyways i loved the horn player's tone. totally. and the piccolo trumpet sounded really really gd. =) very nice. they all blended really well. i guess that's what ensemble skills are about. something our band lacks alot. but well. i guess with the right effort we'd all be able to make it in time! we'll all stay optimistic! =)


very long nv go for band le.............. sometimes i dont miss it, sometimes i do. i miss playing my trUmpet. bleahhh altho its at home. i miss mugging arban after sch. =( but syf prep is different le. in other words, its just like concert prep but far more tedious and stressful! not to mention we'd be doing those two pieces over and over again. okie but im looking forward to it! =D shine! haha. no propaganda to get pple to work hard.. i think many of us are woRking real hard le. i guess we must just keep on woRking hard and keep our spirits high! =)


here's sth i took frm weiyan's bloggg....

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

was reading many blogs that followed mine. the navigator isnt that bad after all. =) i found many interesting things.. i think the world's really a small place. okie maybe that wasnt quite the thing i wanted to say. i wanted to say: (ahem) it's a small world after all~! lala.


REALLY.


i came across this:


"this wan first entry. dun really know wad to write oso. today went to sentosa wif matt all. quite fun ba. went to the susilo beach first den after that to palawan. saw some ppl whom i didnt wan to c leix. hmmm. den after that saw baby. haix. c her le dunno shld feel happy anot. =s keep thinking of the past den kammy all oso keep ask me y break. but does anyone really uds wad i think or feel. haix. went home at about 6+ lor. baby sms me ask me things lor. haix. i really felt sad after that. there are many things i really wish i didnt do. will i be able to forget her or will we have another story?
-treasure wad u have now and neva regret when u lose them-
10:00 PM,all i want is eu.. "


okie.. please dont think im a mad person! i italicised the words for a reason! my auntie's been telling me about this girl. called baby. her colleague's friend.. and i cant help but suspect that this "baby" is her... well. but the rest that i've heard are quite private to her i suppose so it isnt nice to blog about it. anws its a bad love stoRy my auntie told me about. but is the world really so small? hmm. =)


and then i came across this:


When we hold each other in the darkness,
It doesn't make the darkness go away.
The bad things are still out there.
The nightmares still walking.
When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better.
"It's all right," we whisper.
"I'm here, I love you."
And we lie, "I'll never leave you."
For just a moment or two the darkness doesn't seem so bad.


break my heart and kiss the girl


ahhh! super sad. but its so true so true so true.


hahaha so i conclude i love reading other pple's blogs! some pple are just so profound u know. so nice. then peep through their looking glass and experience a whole new world. =)


a love story i came up with. i think this is the ideal =) so sweet =) hahhaha.


and okie~ the guys DID watch hitch. hahaha ngee poo is bad~

i changed my template! i think this is very pretty. as much as i loved the old one =( i decided to have a change.. maybe this will do fine! i used it last time in my old diary-x account. hahaha. but that was a long long time back. i think this is really sweet and cute! bleahs! hahaha. but i miss my old template. the navigator bar on the top is irritating! its blocking stuff. why does blogger have to put that. and there's no tagboard because a tagboard will mess up the template. hahaha.
im sorry this template looks funny! it's quite not-nice because the blogger navigator cuts into my entry! =( this is tough.


but i think this font is really cute. hahahahaha. i love everything about this template.


but im beginning to miss my old one! oh nios im sad!
hahahaha.


let's see how long this will last! =D


tell me its real.


when its over
do we look back with a smile?
do we think of those happy memories once in a while?
(i rhyme, all the time.)


i didnt continue cuz i realised nth else wld rhyme. bad poet. but then poems dont have to rhyme. contemporary poems dont. feeling arbitrary. like randomly chosen. i just told miche about this. im not bothered. maybe at the back of my head im a BIT bothered. its the feeling of someone just telling you sth for the sake of telling someone something. and when u're the person telling someone else something, you feel closer to that person. and when you'er the person listening, you feel fortunate and happily chosen for this ... until a few moments later you realise its all just coincidence. it could be anyone. the feeling of distance. emotional distance can be so terrifying. it doesnt matter that you're beyond my reach. ive forgotten the distance.


but that's all lar. nothing important or serious =D hahaha.


dont do what they did, please

i wanted to come home earlier today, was very tired =( but i went out w e class. had lots lots lots of fun. im really happy. i think im smart. we took neoprints and i came up with this 3-group method. we wanted two groups. then thanks to my "intellectual faculties", we divided ourselves into three groups, namely, A, B and C. i was in group B, with yuhang, desmond and jianting. haha.


yuhang's a big ego freak! he kept posing for the camera before everyone went in. in other words, while we were rehearsing the sequences he was like posing for the camera INSIDE tsk tsk.



bernard, phyllis, junyang, jianting, kaihong, yuhang and mE! i think yuhang and kaihong v cute! phyllis is a semo! she's hugging mEn! and junyang looks lovesick! maybe he misses yanru =Pp

bernard, daochang, desmond, ann, ngeepoo, jianting, me and yuhang!! ann's pretty! notice the sparkle in ngeepoo's teeth. hahah i decorated this one, badly! hahaha. yuhang has a stupid face! bernard has a really sexy ribbon on his neck!



i had a nice time w ann, pan, kaihong and germaine at heeren. just walked around cuz the rest of the guys went to watch hitch. but apparently they ended up not watching.
we talked about marriage and stuff. not bad lar. read alot of horoscopes stuff at kino... I LOVE GEMINI..... see i wasnt wrong in saying that i love gemini. because we're just so pei lar! in so many ways... and best i ever had too.. hahah....not bad at all not bad at all.


kh and germaine went off after a while den left ann and pan and me. den ann had to go off to meet her parents.. pan and i walked her all the way to That CD Shop... den we basically sat there and talked lar.


about how we'd only date guys we'd consider marrying. and how kh thinks she's being to particular. and how i think its fine. because this isnt a game. at least to me. i dunno. i just dont want anything to ever happen to me again! hahaha. yeahhhh.. pan says im matured! u see. yeah i was saying we're probably expecting too much anyway. i always expect him to be somewhat like me... same wavelength etc. expecting too much lar i guess. cuz its impossible. someone with whom i wont find myself explaining too much. someone with whom i dont feel stupid. hahaha. and he must listen to the same kinda music as me! hahaha.


catch my tears.


bleahss im boreddddddddddddd. okie.

!EXCITING NEWS!
I JUST CRIED!!!!!!!bec ann told me about justin timberlake and britney spears! she said apparently they're having probs w their loverss... and they're talking to each other for hours on the phone. so sweet =( its so nice to know that in the end................. even though u've gone one big round.. its back to the same person. hahaha. so nice rite. ahh!!!!!!!

ok larrrr.. i think i'll stop .. hahaha enjoy the pics! =D happy news ehhhh hahahha

simple harmonic motion. that's how my mood changes. sinusoidally. hahah. speaking of which, i just died doing my tys. what am i doing here. for a while when i was reading my notes i felt as though i liked studying physics. maybe i do. but i can just drown in tys questions. am i stupid. boohooo. bleahhhhhhhs.

why am i so unhappy now. i had venezia icecream today at kovan. accompanied mum bec i really havnt been there in a LONG time. im happy friday's a day to rest. im happy block tests will be over so soon. then i'd be able to go out and breathe FREE air again.

bleah im blogging so much lar. all that opportunity cost. i shld be studying rite.

=( boohooo. booboohooohoooohooo.

i hope the weekend will be better.

anyways something i wrote that day...

One year later
i still remember your phone number
i still remember your common spelling mistakes
i still hear your voice
i still hear that laughter
i still hear you say you love me

i still miss you
one year later.

so sweet rite? hahah.

anyways heres sth someone emailed me. i checked it up w my bdae. hahah.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

what follows is sth i stole frm yanting's blog..

The Blower's Daughter

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

its nice when everyone's at home and it rains in the evening. it's scary when dad's not home yet, because it'd be quite dangerous on the roads. but when everyone's home and it rains, its nice. coalie and genie may feel cold outside, rusty may be caught in the rain outside, but it's anice warm feeling to know everyone's here.

and its dark and it looks like its going to rain now.

DISTANCE

"From a distance I saw you and from a distance i felt you.
So close to you, yet I feel there are miles between us.
You smilied at me, at first I did not care.
When it got often I started to notice.
I smiled back but I felt that you just did not bother to look.

Problem with thinking about you.
It's all the time.
Thinking of you gives me stength when I am down.
Courage when I am afraid.
Love when I am lonely.
I can never get any closer to you.
Any closer and I am afraid that you would distance form me.

And I do not have the strength to go through that.

There is nothing about me or my life I can offer to you.
All I have is myself and only me to offer, my character,
my personality my thoughts and my words to you.

You will never know about how I feel.
Ever.

This will forever stay in me.
In my thoughts
In my heart.

Always a distance from you."
-Anonymous.

something i stole from yiwei's blog. =) thought it was meaningful.
coincidentally, my horoscope for today:
You're usually the last one to latch onto a romantic ideal and refuse to let go, but it's time to refresh. Luckily the stars are sending some discoveries your way that'll shake up your outlook.
haha. food for thought.

im just dead for blocks! gd luck, the rest of you!

duRing the concert! phAntom of the oPera~ 

sAxy bEnz! we look, sadly, sleepy. 

section pic! =D 

w seniors! im not there.=( 

section pic for prog bklettt.. hahaha 

can you believe i havnt blogged about capriccio yet?! other than whining that i didnt bring my camera. hahaha. so i shall take time off whatever else i was doing all day and CONCENTRATE (wow that's the first time im hearing this) on typing this! =D

anywaysss.. im gonna upload pics! =D pls be excited!

about the concErt...
i know most of us felt that we didnt play up to standard. we probably reached our peak earlier in the week.. and we had some other bad management, like not warming up as a band and stuff. we could work harder on those, attain a nicer sound and intonation right at the start. because i still think we started on the wrong foot. well, its not just my opinion solely, of course. hahahah. we felt quite sad in the middle, i hated being out of tune! and i hated hearing stuff out of tune. SO, that will not happen ever again. well, there really isnt any chance for it to happen again except at SYF. haha.
okie. and well, i have to admit that halfway through some pieces i got abit bored. JJ concurs! wow im chim. i hope i dint use it the wrong way. it just popped so i have to do my brain justice by using it!
but yar.

about my section...
we can do much more! i'll think of an improvement plan! =) flowers bloom on treetops. there is hope yet.

away with forced and predictable rhymes! =)

hahaha. some songs just make us laugh because we know what's the word at the end of the line before we get to it. makes it awfully boring though it works wonders for those who are trying to sing it for the first time. hahaha.

meanwhilee.
all my friends are getting nervous! and im practising piano <=O wow. hahahaha. but as a good student should, i'll return to my *ahEm* tys. =)

gd luck to everyone!

val... loneliness is SO abstract. how do you describe it, attach words to its meaning? its just like the phrase "so near yet so far". ive thought about that before.. i know how you feel val.. but at times id like to be alone. i dont know. and about marriage? was my answer interesting? i've recognised my fate lar! hahaha. =)

and im having violent moodswings!

who'll be there to catch me when i fall? i dont want i dont want i dont want. im paranoid. =( awfully paranoid.

I'm scared
So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak
If I tremble when I speak
Oooh - what if
There's another one he's
thinking of
Maybe he's in love
I'd feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do

(I've been there
With my heart out in my hand
But what you must
understand
You can't let the chance
To love him pass you by)

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and
moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and
sweet
I'll Hold him close to feel his
heart beat
Love will be the gift you give
yourself

(Touch him
With the gentleness you feel
inside)
I feel it
(Your love can't be denied
The truth will set you free
You'll have what's meant to be
All in time you'll see)

Ohh I love him
(Then show him)
Of that much I can be sure
(Hold him close to you)
I don't think I could endure
If I let him walk away
When I have so much to say

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and
moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and
sweet
(Hold him close to feel his
heart beat)
Love will be the gift you give
yourself

Love is light that surely glows
In the hearts of those who know
It's a steady flame that grows
(Feed the fire with all the
passion you can show)
Tonight love will assume its
place
(This memory time can not
erase)
Your faith will lead love
where it has to go

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and
moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Whisper words so soft and
sweet
(Hold him close to feel his
heart beat)
Love will be the gift you give
yourself

Ooooohh
Never let him go


but you know they'll never open their mouths.
why are my friends generally single, independent... and feminist? hahah.

i heard this on my cd! hahah. i sound spastic.
but u want the answer?

look at those painful memories.

they breed paranoia.

sOmewHeRe ovEr tHe rAinbOw
wAy Up hIgh
thEre'S a LaNd thAT i heArd of
oNcE iN a LullAby

sOmEwHere oVer thE raInBow
sKies aRe blUe
aNd thE dreAms that yOu dAre to dReam
reAlly do cOme trUe

sOmEdAy i'll WiSh uPon a sTAr
aNd waKe up whEre the cLOuds are fAr behInD mE
wHere trOublEs melt liKe lEmOn droPs
aWay abOve the ChImNEy tOps
tHat's wHere yOu'll fInd mE

sOmEwHEre ovEr the rAinbOw
bLuebIRdS fLy
bIrds flY ovEr the rAinBow
whY thEn oh why cAn't I?

If hApPy litTle blUebiRds fLy
bEyonD the RAinbOw
whY oH wHy cAn't I?

ask me why am i online! hahaha. why am i blogging. i wanna live somewhere over the rainbow! fly with the bluebirds and pick roses. i'd want my family with me too... coalie and all. maybe then we'd be locked in eternity. not locked, not trapped... but rather... exist. and then age and death are words we'd never hear of again. immortality is our new concept. like elves!! i wanna be as pretty as an elf! if i didnt grow old, would i have to eat? would the rest of the world grow old? what's eternity and what's immortality? is it exclusive or inclusive, extensive or intensive? hahaha. then happiness will be everlasting. we'll kiss tears and sorrows goodbye. i'll be a happy girl, forever a girl.

11 roses, 3 sunflowers, 3 daisies, one paper lily, one sms rose.

im popular!

i love roses. i love roses.

moses supposes his toeses are roses
but moses supposes erroneously
moses he knowses his toeses arent roses
as moses supposes them to be

but i love roses. =) they're beautiful. i wanna have roses in my home next time =)

there probably was a moment when we could have said yes.

no, this isnt RnG. because im not saying there's a moment in time we could say NO.

we could have said yes.

then we miss that moment. because maybe we started to waver emotionally, we start to think about consequences, about what others may think or say. and then we miss that one moment. maybe there were two moments? three? or more? but we just miss it. we think of how our friends will disapprove. we think of how the society will brand us. we just keep thinking.

and we waver. we are blinded. we miss the moment.

then we look back and feel lost. some of us find new attachments. some just stay there.
stay there, thinking about how things could have been, might have been, should have been. stay there, thinking.

thinking.

and i wanna let you go. sometimes i think i have. sometimes i havnt. sometimes.

happy capriccioxxi! =)

im waiting for pics to load! hahaha =) i nv ever bring my own cam! im a lousy person!

i wanna post again! so im back. i wish i cld be there for everyone =( i dunno. i realised that when someone's sad, i just have nothing to say at all. i mean. my heart goes out to her. but that's all. i cant verbalise that. i cant put so many things into words. and maybe i've been talking too much already. i dont know. today i felt that being alone is good. i mean its been a LONG time ive felt this way. ive been surrounded by friends for so long. i need salt for my ulcer.

blah!
=) tmr's capriccioxxi. im dead! ive got an ulcer and dryyyy lips. bleahs! hahaha. but nvm i'll just do it tmr! dont care if it hurts cuz after that i'd have much time to get better for syf! =)

k lar. dunno what to write. things happen too quickly these days. hais. dunno! im confused.

magic's putting me into the concert mood. he's so great! yay.

i look at you and see Impossibility.

hahhaa. yes its my fiftieth entry! this is fun! actually its more than that. but well... this is the fiftieth titled entry... yay!

i just wanna come back and blog! for fun! the past few weeks of depression made me really down.. waking up in the morning after dreaming (yes literally) of some special person. its disgusting! as in. disgusting in the sense that i dream of someone on many nights in a row.

but ive deleted those smses i wrote to myself in times of loneliness and sadness (during my occassional bouts of depression) and yar.. i think ive gotten over it!

happily eating ice cream on my way back home from the bus stop opposite mobil. 60cents. =) and a lollipop. i feel so tian zhen. and happy. i really love my life! really! =D im so happy.

of course i've had my share of ups and downs for the past few weeks. started getting impatient, frustrated, despondent, ... dont wanna read sad stuff now! no triggers nor temptations. im a happy girl =)

now its time to ... do whatever! i dont know!

had a horrible piano lesson today but heck! i'll prac hard when i've got some time off from band and studies. like after capriccio and block tests. =)

suddenly, even though everything's not done, things seem to be going smooth. hahaha. contradiction, logically.

but well. its never bad to follow your heart.

and well! i rem we talked abt relationships (we is ann, miche, elaine... at different times of course)... no strong and protective but at the same time the sweetest man on earth for us!! feminist? hahaha. nvm lar! i need a co-pilot. no i'd like a co-pilot... we dont need guys! hahahha.

but yar... that's what we discussed. =)

and i think it was utterly unnecessary on this blog. hahaha. takecare peepz~

Capriccio XXI 

we spend our time chasing phantoms. nothing's going to come out of it.

havnt been blogging! i hope the world misses me =D

had a hectic week. 2 weeks to block tests and i havnt started on revision. and there are piles of tutorials incomplete. haha. im so dead.
im just such a failure! so i shall keep my blog entry short. =) dont wanna waste any more precious time!

thats all lar... nth to say le =X hope everyone's fine.

lastly.

pls come for capriccio XXI!
12 March 2005 (Saturday)
HC Audi
1900 hrs
$6/tic

=)

wishing you were somehow here again. knowing you wont ever return.